Promise You

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I Miss You-Blink 182

(I miss you, miss you)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
[x3]

(I miss you, I miss you) [x4]

Thursday, January 14, 2010

it hurts when im hurt,
its hurts even more when you're hurt.
it hurts ever more that im helpless,
unneeded.
blinded by your brightness,
blinded till all goes dark.
i must learn to see in the dark,
learn to create my own light.

but you're the one holding the candle,

the only flame.

and even when the sky falls down,

you, dear estella, is still out of reach.

even when everything comes tumbling down.

why do we reach for something we cannot reach,

hold on to something we cannot hold on to.

the tighter the hold, the further the reach,

the tighter the hold, the further the reach.

the blind looking for light,

the cold looking for warmth,

and yet,

neither are within reach.

and neither are you.

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
12:08 AM

Thursday, January 07, 2010

and the question is,

do i want to be here ?

and the answer is,

i dont know.

and the question is,

do you want me here ?

and the answer is,

i dont really know.

and the question is,

am i here ?

and the answer is,

i guess not.

and the question is,

are you gone ?

and the answer is,

yes, and no.

and the question is,

am i gone ?

and the answer is,

yes, and yes.

and the question is,

are you there ?

and the answer is,

no, and still no.

and the question is,

do i still hold on ?

and the answer is,

do i have a choice ?

and the question is,

what would you say ?

and the answer is,

"please let me stay."

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
12:52 AM

Friday, December 18, 2009

I LOVE YOU

i really really do.
stop coming to this dead dead blog.

this isnt the place for you.

not anymore.

i still love you.

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
1:11 AM

jiayou jiayou. i'll always be rooting for you.

xinyi is super insecure and scared of losing the people around him.

esp at night. start thinking alot.

harsh reality, and me afraid to face it. afraid to see how harsh it is.

i wanna go back to the past. your past. our past. the days when i could close my eyes and smile, coz you're printed on my eyelids.

wasnt in a very good mood today. felt quite bad in fact.

and to you, when you do not reply, you send a clearer message to me.

i always say follow your heart, and be happy. why do i not have the right to follow my heart ? coz my heart is crazy, or the world is crazy , or both ?

twisting and turning twisting and turning.

when you look into their eyes and feel every emotion they feel, feel the deep deep ache inside as you look at their tears, like some kind of emotional mirror, yours reflected in theirs, and double the ache.

i cant face you. i am not ready to. i love you, and i dont ever want not to.

its crazy, this life is crazy, this love is crazy.

and im going crazy.

and no one's there to pick me up.

and i look around.

nope, no one.

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
1:01 AM

Thursday, December 03, 2009

aye.

trying not to step on the ground too hard, sometimes slipping, sometimes tripping, sometimes losing ground, sometimes holding on for dear life.

xinyi is tired.

hiding, staying away, keeping my distance from you.

all a lie.

estella, sometimes i look up in the sky, and i look for you. sometimes its cloudy and i see nothing, sometimes the sun is there and i am blinded by it.

and yet, i cant tell you anything. coz you, estella, do not belong to earth.

and the earth cant go near the star, and the star doesnt want the earth near,

for they do not belong near eachother.

only a cold, cold distance.

in the cold, cold flicker

of your light.

and i live in the shadows, breathe in the shadows,

and yet none is there to give light.

and yet none is there to give light.

your light.

cold, cold flicker.

im freezing in here.

and yet none is there to give light.

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
12:18 AM

Sunday, October 25, 2009

i dunno why, always at this period of time in my life, i'd pick up Johnny Angel and read it.
the ultimate message and reminder you gave to me.
many many feelings. many many feelings.
of you.
how do i talk about it ?
how do i talk to you ?
so much meaning inside that book. the book you bought but never read, the book i recieved and always read.
and i read about you
especially when i miss you.
especially when i love you
this thing i am talking about now, meaningful to me, ugly to you.
and it hurts because its ugly to you
you,
without me.
i dunno what to say.
and there are things i cant say
one day, when you come to this blog, and you see all these posts.
see all my thoughts
or you may never think about me again.
nor talk about me again
coz we never know when will we next see each other,
until its all too late
like that day, when i met you.
when i so wanted to see you
is it the last time ?
i dont want it to be so
i think so, dear friend.
friend
i think so, angel.
Angel.

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
7:18 PM

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

yesterday. today. now.

bye bye friend.

sorry we cant be together.

saw your blog. glad you're happy. jiayou yea.

and takkiare of youself.

yesterday it rubbed the wound raw.

today, i peeled it open, and cut the vein that connected the heart. disconnected myself from it.

and it hurts, and it bleeds.

but its better for you and i.

you, the unnamed protagonist of my blog, today's your last chapter in this book. the author will always always love you, i'll remember all the happy memories.

there are many ways to kill a man. and but its those that leave no wound, that deal the most damage.

and today, i die again.

-always yours,
xinyi

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
7:51 PM

Sunday, September 27, 2009

heyy,

i told you two years ago,

not a day has gone by without me thinking of you.

and you know what ?

not a day has gone by without me thinking of you.

and its crazy.

the way i cant help but love you,

even though i cant see you.

and its crazy.

there are nights when i lie awake,

thinking about you.

and there are times,

i wanna scream to you,

i love you,

alot alot alot.

and its crazy,

coz i cant.

or risk losing you.

i am not the kind to bottle things up,

but yet for you,

i push it all inside.

but its okay,

really.

coz i know i am lucky,

to still have you in my life.

you know, i still have the old phone. and inside there are so, so many memories. some of the happiest times of my life, some of the worst. but most of them, you. and its crazy, reading all of them, and realising that none of these will ever repeat themselves, coz you are now you, and i am still me. and its crazy, the difference.

but people change, relationships change. and like you said, some things, once lost, can never be regained again.

im living in the past, with my body in the present. coz im afraid to let go, im afraid to lose the only source of identity i have left.

coz you are you, and i am me.

and not a day has gone by without me thinking of you.

and i still love you.

ForMeThere'sOnlyYou
9:02 PM